( fuck you. )
Current Mood: melancholy
Current Music: gilmore girls.

you know what would be louder?

( ..if you hit the ball directly against my head. )
Current Mood: uncomfortable
Current Music: everybody loves raymond.

..the actual difference between sanity and insanity is whether or not one is legally responsible for their actions.

..it is politically incorrect to call asia "the orient," for a reason we're unsure of (not that i even knew it was called that in the first place).

..a cell phone in german is a handi, or however you spell it.

..someone in my class doesnt shower, as someone not-so-tactfully pointed out.

( you smell. )
Current Mood: high
Current Music: dante's peak.

                 happy birthday meg !

( stolen from meg. )
Current Mood: tired
Current Music: jfdslk.

when you wake up at four in the morning with your head pounding, and can still barely walk.. when you discover a series of self-inflicted cuts and remember the pool shed at home you broke by slamming your body into it and the picture frame glass shattered on the floor.. when you walk outside and realize your car isn't where you thought you'd left it.. when your mom is calling ur phone incessantly at crazy early hours because she couldnt reach you the day before and had no idea where you were.. when your wallet is empty because you spent nearly every cent you had buying an additional flask of nasty georgi after you finished the bottle.. when you find out you apparantly spent at least 6 hours (not to mention the 2 hours earlier in the day), that really felt like 20 minutes, crying hysterically and flipping out, with your best friend threatening to take you to the hospital or call your mother.. when you havent eaten in days.. and when you're still shaking and walking funny 16 hours after you finished off the liquor.. and it's tuesday morning..

       .. you know you have a drinking problem.

omfg i need weed. 

..and for people to answer their fucking phones.

( i tear my heart open just to feel. )
Current Mood: drained
Current Music: serendipity.

( sorry for the gay bolding. )
Current Mood: bored

like i've been cut open down the middle and everything's pouring out.

( beauty in the breakdown. )
Current Mood: restless

to those of you who read this (and you know who you are), im aware that im the worst friend ever.

i dont mean to be.  and i have nothing against anyone.  i just have a lot of issues right now.  and yeah, i know everyone else does too, but mine affect my life in all these little ways i cant always control, or even recognize.  so whatever.  i know i dont make sense.  but im sorry, and hopefully things will be different soon.

( i was planning to actually update. but then i got lazy. )
Current Mood: bored

( blahhh )
Current Mood: tired

it's fucking coldddddd!

anyway.  i was completely exhausted this morning, so i skipped my 630 science class and got to sleep for 2 hours.  im gonna regret that by the end of the semester.  damn attendence policy.  but i managed to make it to my bowling class for day two of our "tournament."  surprisingly i actually got my highest score ever - 131, which is still pretty pathetic.  went to therapy afterwards, which i dont hate yet - so that's a plus.  maybe ill actually stick with it for once.  we'll see.

but yeah.. it's freakin early and im boredd and i wanna go out and get fucked up already ! 

err.  im so impatient.

btw - hopefully getting a new phone tomorrow.

so it's 4 am.  just got home.  sitting here alone.  coming down.  with no weed.

i gotta leave for class in less than 2 hours. 

and im fucking pissed off. 

i leave my bag alone for TWO MINUTES tonite at this girls house.

i come back and my fucking phone is GONE. 

fucking dickhead drug addicts.  DIE.

like tonight wasnt bad enough.  i so didnt need this.    @!#$%^&*()